The Walton’s

I wonder if anyone remembers the Walton’s television show?  My family watched it every week; maybe we liked it so much, because we were not an especially close family.  I always thought how wonderful it would be to have such a family. Grandparents, parents, children and other numerous members of one big family. Most living in the same house.

So when I decided I had to move, and my family decided they wanted to move as well, we became a modern day Walton family. We have two homes on a forty acre farm. At one home resides my daughter, her husband, three of my grandchildren and until he died a little over a year ago, my son-in-law’s father. The addition they built on their house for him is now where my almost son lives.

At the other home resides myself, my husband, son, his wife and my granddaughter. Sometimes people can barely believe we all live the way we do. Others say, “I sure wish we lived that way.”  For the most part, we are very happy to all be altogether.

It is interesting for sure. Always something going on. When you have five children and another waiting to arrive and seven adults there aren’t  many days that are not occupied with some kind of plans.

Which kinda brings me to the point. I guess I am thinking like an oldster, which I am, but it seems to me when there were children being raised sometimes more than one in a bedroom (without a bathroom attached) they learned how to get along better. How to compromise. How to show their love. How to share. And yes, how to do without. But you don’t have to be poor to want to live together as an extended family. We think we are rich beyond comprehension.

It’s Mama Who is Missing

     One day while trying to do some things in my kitchen, I took a good look around (which I don’t do often) and started shaking my head at the lack of proper cleaning.   

    In the year 2000, I was diagnosed with MS, and have now degenerated into almost complete bed-rest.  I have a motorized wheelchair that I use to get from my bedroom to the other end of the house where my daughters’ bedrooms are.  I have a manual wheelchair for the times I do go out.  There are doctors’ appointments which I always dread but must go to.  And there are those much anticipated events, i.e. each of my daughters’ high school graduations, church (once in a blue moon) the plays that my older daughter has been involved in for many years, and this year I was fortunate and rested enough to witness a truely beautiful phenomenon:  the “photo shoot” on the afternoon of my youngest daughter’s Senior prom.

    The most debilitating symptom of my MS has always been extreme fatigue.  I take medicine two times daily for energy.  It does help but, as is usually the case these days, medications are running to keep up with the illnesses.  So…women, homemakers, mothers who have stayed home to raise their children, mothers who have had to work in order to maintain the household, etc. who have become ill must watch the home she has cared for, slowly but surely lose her touch.

    On that day I referred to in the beginning of this little story, I experienced a feeling overwhelmingly sad and profoundly true.  Things were not right.  Reality slapped me in the face.  Something was missing.  I remember thinking that everything would be put back in order when Mama comes home.  That was it!  I realized that Mama was missing, and for the smallest measure of time, I was relieved.  I had been given the answer to why things just didn’t feel right, and how they would be getting better when Mama comes home.  And that was when the overwhelming sadness and the truth – the profound truth that Mama was missing was that dose of reality that slapped me in the face.  Sad, shocking, bewildering, and true.

    It is Mama who is missing, and she will not be coming home.   

 

    Peace,

 ~Vicki

Pepper

A few months ago we added another varmint into our menagerie. My daughter-in-law called almost begging me to say yes to a puppy she wanted to bring home. Usually I would have said no. With 4 adults, 1 child and another on the way, plus 3 cats and 2 dogs I figured that was enough loving to last a lifetime. But I knew she really wanted this puppy and I am such a pushover that I said yes.

So here it is 6 months later and she is growing into a reasonable but still frisky dog. One minute she is a complete joy and the next a real pain in the you know where. We named her Pepper although at this point I would prefer her name be Joy.

I have grown to love that little thing. And she has grown to depend on me. Not sure I needed any more depending on, with so little time and barely enough energy to actually get much work done. My life over the years surely has changed and even though I have many bad memories, the memories made in the last 18 years or so have made me whole again. You cannot be surrounded by the love in our family and not feel it deeply. People ask me, how can you do all you do?  I wouldn’t want to trade my life for anything. I have been blessed by 2 grown children who are married to 2 great mates and combined have given me 4 wonderful grandchildren. Did I mention another on the way? I am so excited about that.

Of course there are problems. Of course there is fussing. Of course there are always messes. But I would not change one thing. How could anyone ask for more? Well, maybe a bit more money might be nice. But I figure God has given me all I truly need.

Walking in others shoes

Some people have called me a wise woman. I don’t think I am especially wise, but I have been blessed with many life experiences that have helped me put myself in others shoes and maybe feel some of what they are feeling.

I use to be angry that some of the life I lived was not good, but as I came to the Lord’s side, I found that my life experiences have given me so much more tolerance, understanding and hope. Tolerance for those who are different. Understanding of those who are in pain. And hope that they will find that God is there when they are ready to accept Him.

There were days when I did wonder where God was. The days I didn’t believe there were such things as Christians. If there was a God then why? After many years of the whys I finally figured out that I would not be here at all, but for the Lord and his grace. His hand was always on my shoulder. I just didn’t feel it at the time. All the other emotions I was feeling got in the way of finding the one that loves me the most.

Happy Anniversary!

While looking back through my journal of a year ago, I found the most delicious entry. On June 29, 2005, Nancy (Wonderings) first entered my home and my life. Of course, God has always known – since before the foundation of the earth, actually – how our friendship would very quickly become the spiritual stronghold that it is. He not only made Nancy for Himself and for her family. He made her for me also, and, of course, for all who read her soulful writings.
Something about Nancy’s personality that may not be evident in her writings is her amazing sense of humor. Nobody makes me laugh like Nancy does. I am usually completely exhausted by the time she and I hang up from a telephone conversation. But, that’s just fine with me. Because I know as I lie back on my pillow after one of our longer talks, I will have gained plenty of food for thought (seasoned with Nancy’s own blend) – plus dessert.
For Nancy:
I love you, love you, love you, my friend. Betcha didn’t even know that today marked our First Anniversary! Not to worry. I’ll come up with a really fun way for you to make it up to me.
S0 – “Happy Anniversary!” dear kindred spirit. I’ll be praying for many more.

Smooches~~~Vicki

The Christmas Tree

During the time I was a single Mom and times were pretty tough I decided the kids deserved a *real* Christmas tree. Even if we did without something else. So off we went with a friend to one of the places that was selling real trees, although it was still a week or so till Christmas. We also had a specific kind in mind. We want a small tree because it was going to have to sit on a table, and we found one that suited us perfectly.

When we got home I set it outside our side door which we very seldom used. There were houses all around us, one a huge old apartment building all inhabited by people I did’nt know. The day I went outside to get the tree, a week or so later, the kids were gone with their father. It was his weekend. I planned to have the tree up and ready to decorate when they got home. But it was gone. I stood there awhile, looking around, hoping against hope I had put it behind the house instead of at the side door. It was nowhere to be found. I couldn’t believe it. Was it a prank? Why would someone steal a small Christmas tree?

The kids came home, never knowing at that time that the tree was gone. I told one friend about what had happened and how mad I was and how sad I was that the kids wouldn’t have a tree. She is the only one I told, my pride being what it was back then, I didn’t want just anyone knowing how hard it was for me financially, although almost everyone knew since I had gotten rid of both my car and telephone cause I couldn’t afford them. But still, I would never have accepted a handout.

Then a few days before Christmas I heard this knock at my door. When I opened the door, there stood the same friend that had taken us to get the tree. I didn’t know what to say. *Come in and see we lost the tree you helped us get. * She stood there a few seconds grinning from ear to ear, then finally stepped to one side and showed me another Christmas tree. She had heard what happened and knew how unhappy we would all be. I almost cried, the children did cry. She stayed and helped us decorate it with the few ornaments we had and the ones the kids had made. I look back now and remember what a wonderful night that was.

I only tell this story cause of my friend. She was not what anyone would call a Christian. She drank. And I mean she could drink anybody under the table, and often did. She also cussed as much as she drank and was a real party girl. But she was one of the best friends I ever had. A few years later when I was married again and she had cleaned up her act and was in her late 30’s she decided she wanted to be a nurse. She became a nurse. A great one working with children who had behavior problems. She never had any children of her own.

That day is etched in my brain. A day that has helped me remember her always, as the one who gave us a wonderful gift of love when it was especially needed.