Rememberer

My rememberer is broken. The older I get the more forgetful I get. I imagine that is normal. But who knows? I have known oldsters who are as sharp at 80 as they probably were at 17.

I am apt to put something somewhere thinking it is in a place I will not forget and the next day I will search for hours trying to find it. Then of course when it is found, I think why didn’t I look there first? Most of the time whatever it is, it’s nothing important, but once in a while it is.

Since my husband and I have been married I have taken care of all the bill paying and other necessities, even when I was working and raising two kids. Now and again I think, what’s up with that? In this day and age fathers are supposed to be as responsible for the children as the mother is. I think I was born too early.

Anyway, today is a good day for the memory and I remembered I should be posting something soon. But I need to make some phone calls to remind the women in our women’s group that there is a meeting Thursday night. Hey, maybe I am not the only one whose rememberer is broken.

Back

Or should I say, kinda back. I would like to say I am back to stay, but that is not a very reasonable assumption at this time. I had my computer worked on, it was gone about a week, but it is still old and cranky. I am going to have to invest in another computer before too long. Although this one is working better than before, it still hiccups, and goes off and does it’s own thing when it can get away from me. Kinda like mischievous children. I am going to try and post as often as I can, but if I disappear again, it doesn’t mean I am gone forever.

Blogs and Blogging

Not sure where those words came from, but it sure has changed my life. For several years I couldn't see very well due to some problems with my eyes. Eventually after going to several doctors, a friend guided me to this wonderful specialist who didn't hesitate to operate on my eyes. After two surgeries and another procedure pending I can now see well enough to drive and to pick up a book and read again. It was a miracle for me.

During the period that my sight was so bad, my mind did a double take and just wouldn't shut up. So many thoughts kept roaming around in my head. Finally I sat down at the computer, pumped up the font size and started writing.

There was a time many years ago that a lawyer had told me I should write my life story. But being in my early thirties, I couldn't believe that it was time for a biography of my many faceted life, although I did know that I had been in some almost unbelievable situations. About 10 years later, I did sit down and try and write a few things. But I was doomed from the git go. Tears would come as I would write. Tears I had not shed for what seemed like centuries. Then the thought of how many people would be hurt if I shared some of those life experiences that made me who I am came bouncing into my brain. And I knew at that point, there was no way I could put those thoughts and happenings on paper.

After I became a Christian (or should I say Christian in training, although it has been years) my perspective changed on so many things. I learned to forgive and hopefully forget much of the horror I had been through. But recently they are haunting me again. I find that I can go years without thinking much about them, but they always slowly creep back into my brain when I least expect it.

So I did consider writing a biography again. But that thought didn't last long, because there are still many people who would be hurt if all the truths were published. Truth is a wonderful thing, but when it concerns dredging up years of past truths, is it worth it?

So I started blogging. I have grown to love writing. Those printable thoughts come to my head and I try and get them written down. I have been known to get up several times in the night to just type two sentences. Enough that I will remember the next day where my mind was going at the time. I now keep a small notebook in my car in case thoughts come freely when I am driving down the road, but by the time I am home again, they are gone. I am careful to pull off the road though, I sure wouldn't want to be responsible for any accidents.

I still have days when I am sad. Feel hurt again. But they are truly now far and between the good thoughts and feelings I have now that God has received me into his fold. Knowing God has changed my whole world.